Did you know?
Did you know:
A: If you drop an iris from 40 feet, it will break into a million pieces?
B: When I tell you that leaving your crap here is a risk, and other people might break it, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REPLACING YOUR SHIT WHEN SOME OTHER ASSHOLE LOSES IT.
C: Just because I am nice to you, it does not mean I have to be nice to you, and I can stop being nice to you whenever I feel like it.
D: I am a FUCKING VOLUNTEER. I don't HAVE to do JACK SHIT for you and your FUCKING COMPNAY.
E: If you try my patience, I will FINE YOUR ASS to the tune of about 3,000 quid.
F: If someone elses is paying for time, you can't just take it from them because you feel like it, AND YOU DAMN WELL better PAY for said time IF the other people are NICE enough to give it to you. THIS IS A FAVOR AND YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT.
G: You are all BIG people now. If you break someone elses $7,000 Grand Piano, it is your fault. You must pay to have it fixed. Especailly if you AND YOUR DUMB ASS, droped a BLOODY MICROPHONE STAND INTO THE BLEEDING PIANO. Because that means that your HAD to OPEN THE FUCKING THING to do so, AND YOU SHOULD NOT DO THAT.
H: It is NOT NESSECARY to remove a Gobo in order to move a light. If you DO move a Gobo, and it does not belong to you, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR PUTTING IT BACK. And whenever you mess with the FUCKING LIGHT GRID you MUST tell me SO THAT I CAN FIX ALL THE SHIT YOU FUCK UP.
I: Calling me at midnight, and asking me to come into the theatre to help you set up at 3:00 in the morning is fine, BUT YOU HAD BETTER BE THERE TO SET UP OR I WILL FINE YOUR ASS.
J: Calling me on my cellphone to yell at me about a problem I HAVE ALREADY FIXED while I am trying to fix a second problem WHICH YOU HAVE CAUSED is unacceptable. And you are a jackass.
K: I am not responsible for promoting your show. It is your dumbass show. If you didn't think about it until the last minute, it is not my problem.
L: It is not my fault nobody wants to see your stupid show. You picked the show, you picked the actors, you picked the design, you fucked up not me.
M: If you leave your crap in my way, and I have to clean it up, I WILL FINE YOUR ASS.
N: If the people around you make to much noise, tough. I'm sorry, but they have a right to perform their show. If you want to cancel your show, fine. But I'm not going to refund your money because other people disturbe you.
O: No, I cannot make the sun stop shinning for you. I am not Apollo. I cannot do that.
P: If you tell me what your problem is, I will try to fix it. But if you do not tell me what you need, I can't help you. I am not a telepath. I don't read minds.
Q: Patrons are noisey. I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do about it.
R: I spent almost as much money to come here as you did. Don't whine to me about having to pay a bunch of money to come here, cause you don't have to work all day. Bugger off.
S: Not all British people are "Bourigouse Fucking Wankers" but the ones that are, really, really are.
T: Just because they are from a different country, does not make them brillient. Quite often, it makes them bloody wankers. Especially when they are stars in their own country, and nobody here knows who they are. That is probably why the show is selling poorly. I don't care how big they are in the Ukrane.
U: Women's bathrooms are shitholes. Literly. I have never seen anything more disgusting than this women's bathroom.
V: I don't HAVE to clean the bathroom for you. It is not my bathroom, I don't use that bathroom, if you want it clean, do it yourself. In fact, your not even supposed to BE IN that bathroom, so piss off.
W: If you move/regel/refocus a light, put it back the way you found it before you leave, or I will hunt you down, and not kill you. Because, it can be so much more painful to remain alive.
X: If you tell a whiny director that you have ordered a "quiter jackhammer" for the construction crew on the other side of the wall from his theatre, he will believe you and stop whinning.
Y: I cannot make Gobo holders appear out of thin air. I don't have them stashed up my ass.
Z: I'm sorry. There are 2,000 shows here. You will not sell out every day. You will not make any money. If you break even, it will be a mirical.
A: If you drop an iris from 40 feet, it will break into a million pieces?
B: When I tell you that leaving your crap here is a risk, and other people might break it, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REPLACING YOUR SHIT WHEN SOME OTHER ASSHOLE LOSES IT.
C: Just because I am nice to you, it does not mean I have to be nice to you, and I can stop being nice to you whenever I feel like it.
D: I am a FUCKING VOLUNTEER. I don't HAVE to do JACK SHIT for you and your FUCKING COMPNAY.
E: If you try my patience, I will FINE YOUR ASS to the tune of about 3,000 quid.
F: If someone elses is paying for time, you can't just take it from them because you feel like it, AND YOU DAMN WELL better PAY for said time IF the other people are NICE enough to give it to you. THIS IS A FAVOR AND YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT.
G: You are all BIG people now. If you break someone elses $7,000 Grand Piano, it is your fault. You must pay to have it fixed. Especailly if you AND YOUR DUMB ASS, droped a BLOODY MICROPHONE STAND INTO THE BLEEDING PIANO. Because that means that your HAD to OPEN THE FUCKING THING to do so, AND YOU SHOULD NOT DO THAT.
H: It is NOT NESSECARY to remove a Gobo in order to move a light. If you DO move a Gobo, and it does not belong to you, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR PUTTING IT BACK. And whenever you mess with the FUCKING LIGHT GRID you MUST tell me SO THAT I CAN FIX ALL THE SHIT YOU FUCK UP.
I: Calling me at midnight, and asking me to come into the theatre to help you set up at 3:00 in the morning is fine, BUT YOU HAD BETTER BE THERE TO SET UP OR I WILL FINE YOUR ASS.
J: Calling me on my cellphone to yell at me about a problem I HAVE ALREADY FIXED while I am trying to fix a second problem WHICH YOU HAVE CAUSED is unacceptable. And you are a jackass.
K: I am not responsible for promoting your show. It is your dumbass show. If you didn't think about it until the last minute, it is not my problem.
L: It is not my fault nobody wants to see your stupid show. You picked the show, you picked the actors, you picked the design, you fucked up not me.
M: If you leave your crap in my way, and I have to clean it up, I WILL FINE YOUR ASS.
N: If the people around you make to much noise, tough. I'm sorry, but they have a right to perform their show. If you want to cancel your show, fine. But I'm not going to refund your money because other people disturbe you.
O: No, I cannot make the sun stop shinning for you. I am not Apollo. I cannot do that.
P: If you tell me what your problem is, I will try to fix it. But if you do not tell me what you need, I can't help you. I am not a telepath. I don't read minds.
Q: Patrons are noisey. I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do about it.
R: I spent almost as much money to come here as you did. Don't whine to me about having to pay a bunch of money to come here, cause you don't have to work all day. Bugger off.
S: Not all British people are "Bourigouse Fucking Wankers" but the ones that are, really, really are.
T: Just because they are from a different country, does not make them brillient. Quite often, it makes them bloody wankers. Especially when they are stars in their own country, and nobody here knows who they are. That is probably why the show is selling poorly. I don't care how big they are in the Ukrane.
U: Women's bathrooms are shitholes. Literly. I have never seen anything more disgusting than this women's bathroom.
V: I don't HAVE to clean the bathroom for you. It is not my bathroom, I don't use that bathroom, if you want it clean, do it yourself. In fact, your not even supposed to BE IN that bathroom, so piss off.
W: If you move/regel/refocus a light, put it back the way you found it before you leave, or I will hunt you down, and not kill you. Because, it can be so much more painful to remain alive.
X: If you tell a whiny director that you have ordered a "quiter jackhammer" for the construction crew on the other side of the wall from his theatre, he will believe you and stop whinning.
Y: I cannot make Gobo holders appear out of thin air. I don't have them stashed up my ass.
Z: I'm sorry. There are 2,000 shows here. You will not sell out every day. You will not make any money. If you break even, it will be a mirical.
posted by Harvy at 10:21 AM
1 Comments:
Liar! I KNOW you keep gobo holders in your ass!
Post a Comment
<< Home