This post will containe three versions of a short scene I am writting for my playwritting class. Here goes:
Place: Beach, with a body on it.
Time: present
Characters: AARON & BRAM
AARON: How long do you think it would take meat to rot out here?
BRAM: Couple of days.
AARON: Couple of days? … Charley already has flies on him, are you sure meat would last a couple of days?
BRAM: I don’t know. I’m not the Boy Scout.
AARON: Fine man, chill, geez.
BRAM: It’s not like we have a freezer.
AARON: Can’t you salt meat?
BRAM: Where would we get the salt?
AARON: The Ocean, it’s right there.
BRAM: Hey, yeah! We could pack him in sea salt!
AARON: Nah wouldn’t work.
BRAM: Why not?
AARON: how would we get the salt out of the sea?
BRAM: Why not put him in the sea?
AARON: Fish.
BRAM: Not far out. Maybe we could burry him in the sand with his head sticking out.
AARON: Good idea, here, help me move him.
BRAM: Oof, he’s like a beached whale.
AARON: You still have your knife?
BRAM: Yeah, why?
AARON: Well, if we cut him up a little he might be lighter. Plus we could go ahead and have a little taste to see how he is holding up so far.
BRAM: Okay, here.
AARON: I don’t know how to do it.
BRAM: Well I don’t know either! And it was your idea. Haven’t you been hunting?
AARON: No, you?
BRAM: No. But I watched this show about it once. It showed how to field dress a deer, or a turkey, or something. You just cut it on the front, and pull out all the guts and crap.
AARON: Do you eat 'em?
BRAM: Nah, they are poisonous.
AARON: Yeah, yeah I think I heard something like that once, like if you eat their liver you could die.
BRAM: Alright, so we just cut Charlie in the front and pull out the guts and shit, then he’ll be lighter and we can eat one of his legs.
AARON: Shit man, I don’t want his leg.
BRAM: But his arms are scrawny, and besides his leg is already broken, so we wouldn’t have to cut the bone.
AARON: Yeah, but his leg is just a little close to his pecker.
BRAM: Pecker? You called it a pecker? What’s wrong, mommy doesn’t want you to use bad words?
AARON: His "fuck stick", alright?
BRAM: Look. It’s his leg, or nothing. Alright?
AARON: Why? We could eat his arm, or some ribs, why the leg?
BRAM: Shit man, I don’t want to be here all day sawing through Charley’s arm. Besides it’s next to his pecker, and that gives it flavor.
AARON: Knock it off.
BRAM: Did you have a thing for Charley? I mean I know he was a fag, but I didn’t know you were his love monkey!
AARON: Do you have a thing for Charley? Is that why you want to eat his leg? His hands been to precious to you>
BRAM: Shut the fuck up, unless you want me to eat you both.
AARON: Yeah right, you couldn’t kill a fly.
BRAM: Well I’m about to gut Charley.
AARON: Do it.
BRAM: Watch me.
AARON: God! You’re sick!
BRAM: awe… man….
AARON: Hey! Don’t puck in there, we have to eat that!
BRAM: shit man…
AARON: Fuck. You go get some wood to start a fire. I’ll clean this up and cut out some ribs for us to eat.
BRAM: I’m not hungry…
AARON: Pussy. I bet you did have a thing for Charley.
SCENE 2
Place: Beach, with a body on it.
Time: present
Characters: AARON & BRAM
AARON: What are we going to do about Charley?
BRAM: Bury him?
AARON: You know… He’s all we have to eat…
BRAM: What?!?! You are one SICK fuck.
AARON: Look around you man.
BRAM: Were on a fucking island, there is an entire ocean of fish out there, a stream just over that hill, and somebody is bound to find us!
AARON: Yeah, an ocean of fish, but I’m not going fishing in shark infested waters without so much as a fishing hook, are you?
BRAM: But somebody
AARON: is bound to find us? When? In a month? We could last for a little while, but not long. And Charley isn’t getting any fresher.
BRAM: You have a point.
AARON: Do you still have your knife?
BRAM: Yeah.
AARON: Give it here, I’ll cut up Charley and you can go get some firewood. It’ll be like a weenie roast.
BRAM: No man, if anybody is going to cut on Charley, it’s going to be me.
AARON: Why? Where you two love monkeys or something?
BRAM: No, because it’s my knife.
AARON: So tell me, who was the bitch?
BRAM: You, probably. I hear Charley liked skinny faggots like you. Now get out of my way. Do you think I should use the blade, or the saw?
AARON: You’re really going to do it?
BRAM: It’s like you said, we have to eat.
AARON: But, I never thought we’d actually… do it.
BRAM: Shit!!!
AARON: What?
BRAM: The frickin’ knife closed on my fingers!
AARON: Well you can’t just stab it in there stupid!
BRAM: Hey, you want to do this?
AARON: It’s your knife.
BRAM: Then SHUT UP!
AARON: Alright, geez.
BRAM: Go get some firewood.
AARON: What part are we going to eat?
BRAM: How about his leg?
AARON: Naw man.
BRAM: Why not? Too fat for you? Momma’s little boy only eats the lean meat?
AARON: I just don’t like drum sticks…
BRAM: Well it’s my knife, and I say we’re eating drumsticks.
AARON: That’s sick.
BRAM: It was your idea to eat him in the first place, and now you’re calling me sick because I say we should eat his leg?
AARON: But his leg man, I mean its right there next to his pecker.
BRAM: Good grief! Eating him’s alright; you just don’t want to have to touch his “peter”?
AARON: Shut up man. I just think it’s sick.
BRAM: Eating him at all is sick, now go get the firewood, or I’ll cut off his “wily” and shove it up your ass!
AARON: Man, fuck you. I just don’t want to eat his leg, alright?
BRAM: His leg is going to be the easiest to cut off okay? So if we’re going to eat Charley, it’s going to be drumsticks, alright? Look man, the wreck already broke his leg so it’s probably going to go bad first. Besides I’m hungry now and it’ll be faster to just cut through the tendons & stuff holding it than to try and stab through his chest again.
AARON: I guess your right.
BRAM: then go get the firewood.
SCENE 3
Place: Beach, with a body on it.
Time: present
Characters: AARON & BRAM
BRAM: Charley looks pretty bad.
AARON: Yeah.
BRAM: What do you think we should do?
AARON: Well, we could sit here and wait to die.
BRAM: Great plan.
AARON: We have plenty of fresh water from that stream over the hill.
BRAM: Yeah… and we could build a little signal fire so that they will be able to find us.
AARON: What about food?
BRAM: There are nuts and berries. Right?
AARON: I didn’t see any, you?
BRAM: Come to think of it, I don’t see any nuts or berries. But there are still plenty of fish!
AARON: And how are we going to catch them?
BRAM: With our hands.
AARON: Yeah right. Look man, if you want to swim out there and get eaten by a barracuda, then be my guest.
BRAM: Well what do you think we should eat?
AARON: You mean whom.
BRAM: What?
AARON: What about Charley?
BRAM: laughs
AARON: No, I’m serious.
BRAM: That’s illegal.
AARON: In America, yes. But we’re not in America.
BRAM: You’re serious!
AARON: As a heart attack. We could use your knife to cut off his arm
BRAM: Nah cut off his leg.
AARON: No man, that’s sick, you’d have to cut off his pecker.
BRAM: Eating Charley is sick, eating his leg is practical. Look, it’s already broken, so we wouldn’t have to cut through the bone… Yeah, this might work! And it’s not like anybody would know.
AARON: It won’t work, forget it.
BRAM: It was your idea, or do you want to starve now?
AARON: No, I don’t want to starve, but I refuse to eat his leg. There are certain lines I will not cross…
BRAM: So let me get this straight, you’ll eat Charley, but you refuse to eat his leg because I would have to cut off his pecker?
AARON: Shut up.
BRAM: You’re crazy.
AARON: I said Shut up! Shh! be still… I think I heard Charley moan…
BRAM: Shit! He’s moving.
AARON: Do you think he heard us?
BRAM: I dunno, but I sure as hell ain’t going to eat him now.
